Tim Couldn't Make It
Wine Shop Vashon
Friday, August 15th
6:00pm

Official Statement from the Band: Tim Couldn’t Make It:We regret to inform you—again, and with increasing disbelief—that Tim Couldn’t Make It. Not this time. Not any time. Tim remains, as ever, profoundly unavailable.This is not due to artistic differences, scheduling conflicts, or a tragic misunderstanding involving a goat and a ukulele (though that did happen, and we’re still litigating). No, Tim is currently deep in the jungles of Belize, pursuing what he calls “a spiritual internship with a tribe of howler monkeys.” He sends his love, a blurry photo of a mango, and a firm request that no one attempt to FaceTime him during the show.To be clear:

Tim will not be performing.

Tim will not be attending.

Tim will not be watching from a satellite uplink.

Tim will not be astrally projecting into the venue.

Tim will not be hiding in the coatroom, waiting for the encore.So please, for the love of all that is decent and musically coherent: do not throw undergarments. We’ve been through this. Doug still flinches when someone opens a sock drawer. Bruce has developed a reflexive duck-and-cover maneuver that has injured three tambourines. Wes refuses to play unless the first three rows are certified lingerie-free zones. And Rick—well, Rick’s therapist says we’re making progress.The band (Doug Pine, Bruce Phares, Wes Peterson, and Rick Dahms) will perform songs about heartbreak, hope, and hallucinogens. The music is ideal for swaying gently, crying softly, or making questionable decisions with someone you just met at the merch table.Once more, with feeling: Tim Couldn’t Make It. Please stop asking. Please stop throwing. Please stop believing.

Where to eat:  https://www.vashonevents.org/dining
Where to stay: https://www.vashonevents.org/wheretostay